.Saturday, September 17, 2005 ' 1:20 PM Y
haiiss.. feel so moody now.. wonder y..
the prelim papers - EL paper 1 and geo.. was ok.. juz hope my geo cud get a b3. gotta mug till o lvl which is 2 months later..
haiis.. thought today wud be a gd day for me.. for im meeting him after his work which is 6 plus. well.. at 1st everything seems so smooth.. no quarrels. nth. but during our journey home.. half way when he say he dun wanna go home so early.. it was only 9.30. he wanted to go to the park in bukit panjang.. the so-called reservoir. but i dun want. afraid tat mummy wud nag again for wed i reached hm at abt 11pm.
he got pissed. i juz sat quietly.. looking out of the windows. i din tok to him.. neither did he tok to me. was it really my fault?
but guess.. it was my fault. why cant i juz gif in to him.. *stubborn* i wanted to control my temper.. but sometimes i really cant. i duno wad has got into me. do i look gloomy these few days? well.. mayb in sch, i dun. but at home.. i juz wan someone to tok to.
i cant always call him.. he's working. yest we also ended up in a quarrel. cuz i told him to gif me a miss call once after his work as he's working OT. but i nv receive any call from him and i waited till 10 plus.. or 11. i tried to focus on my studies.. telling myself tat he's still bz wif work. i kept looking at the clock.. 10.30.. 10.45.. and eventually i cant control myself. i threw tantrum at him once he got home..
i know its very bad of me to do tat.. and its oso very pressurizing for him. there was a short period of time where i kept things to myself. dun want him to worry tis and tat. think i suppress my feelings too much tat now i need to vent everything out.
i believe tis relationship will last.. and believing tat these probs can be overcome together.. juz gif me a few more time..
haiiss.. *sad - heartbroken*
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